As you decide the specifics of your child custody agreement, you may notice your talks with your ex-spouse tend to feel stressful. This tension can spill over into fights and arguments that take time and energy away from dealing with real issues.
Learning how to deal with conflict constructively can help you both to be there for your children.
According to Psychology Today, a lot of excess stress can come from unnecessary opportunities to argue or talk about sensitive subjects. If you focus on staying on topic while discussing childcare or when you need to pick up or drop off your children, then you can stop fights before they begin.
Using texts or emails can be helpful tools, since written communication can make it easier to keep the delivery of the message professional and neutral.
It may feel good to vent your frustrations about your ex-spouse to his or her face, but doing so can cause more problems later on. Insults and rude comments can add to the tension between you and your children, as well as between you and your ex-spouse.
Instead, be optimistic about the future and resolving any problems you both have. This mindset can lead to a more relaxed dynamic as time goes on.
Notice your children’s reactions
Although you may assume your children do not understand what is going on, they can still pick up on the hostility between you both. This can lead to the feeling that they need to pick one parent or another, which pits you both against each other.
You can avoid arguments with your co-parent by focusing on the biggest thing you have in common, which is taking care of your children.