Rearranging your life after the ink dries on the divorce papers is often one of the most frustrating and confusing parts of the process. Especially if you are going to be raising your children in joint custody with your ex-spouse, figuring out the logistical elements of your new life is paramount.
Traditionally, after divorce the children will move between the parents houses as per a preset custody schedule. According to Psychology Today, many families are choosing to experiment with “nesting:” a living arrangement involving the children staying in one house.
Who does this benefit?
Oftentimes, having children move between two separate households causes problems. Older children, in particular, are likely to resent moving frequently. If your children are close to high school graduation, it may be beneficial to try a nesting setup until they graduate and then you can dissolve the family home.
Maintaining two separate households for children of any age can also be very expensive. It is likely that you will need two sets of everything, from toothbrushes to toys. Keeping children in the same home constantly removes the chance of tears due to a forgotten favorite stuffed toy. It also reduces anxiety in the case of children who need to take certain medicines. There is no chance of forgetting a vital medication if the child is always in the same house.
Who should not nest?
If you and your ex-spouse went through a high conflict divorce, it is unlikely that you will have the communicative groundwork for successful nesting. Remember that nesting involves both parents continuing to maintain a family home even though they divorced. Nesting requires a high level of communication, but it can be a beneficial alternative living arrangement for many divorced families.