It used to be common practice for children, particularly young children, to end up in the custody of the mother after divorce. However, times have changed and so has the general wisdom of parenting post-divorce. It is much more common in the modern era for children to end up in a co-parenting situation. Co-parenting involves both parents being actively involved in their child’s lives equally, even though the parents no longer cohabitate. Despite its positives, co-parenting can be difficult to manage. According to Healthline, communication is extremely important for good co-parenting.

While it is understandable for you to harbor some negative feelings towards your ex-spouse, co-parenting depends on formulating a business-like relationship regarding the care of your children. Many co-parents decide that the best form of communication is written. You may choose texting, a messaging app, or email for this. This way, there is no confusion about what was said when and what was agreed to. Email can also help make the process less emotional and feel more like dealing with a co-worker as opposed to dealing with an ex.

It is vital that you and the other parent keep your exchanges brief and impersonal. Particularly if your divorce ended on poor terms, you will want to keep any conversation about emotional background outside of the co-parenting situation. Keep the conversation strictly about your children, and limit the number of texts or emails per day or per week to a specific number if necessary. If you feel yourself getting emotional, it may be important to step back from the text or email. Nobody expects you and your ex-spouse to be friends if you are not, but to co-parent successfully you need to have a modicum of civility.